I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
