So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
