The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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