Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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