You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
