You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
