sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
