If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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