My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
