last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
