can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
