Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
