Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
