He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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