Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
