she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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