Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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