That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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