It's Friday. Sex?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
