he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
