The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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