i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
