Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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