What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
