yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
