FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
whose parrot is this?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Couch. On fire.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
