So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
