Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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