I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I party with great urgency now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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