I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize