I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize