the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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