Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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