If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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