What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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