He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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