I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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