Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
