You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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