As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Two words: blizzard sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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