I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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