doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
