im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are the jesus of drinking
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
