At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
