That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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