I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
