I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
