yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
