We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
