Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Please don't give away my fajitas
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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