He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
