yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
