he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
