office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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