Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
