i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
