i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize