wakey wakey hands off snakey
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
