I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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